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Writer's picturecamikahayes

Stay True to Yourself

Updated: Jul 31, 2020


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Photo by Christina Morillo from Pexels

One of the toughest lessons to learn, and most difficult to practice is staying true to yourself. Every day we are bombarded by ideas that teach us to compare ourselves to others. In some ways, it's how we get a better idea of where we fall within a spectrum of people, so we can more accurately assess our skills and talents.


It's all too easy to make that comparison into a habit, and then like a virus it spreads to every part of our lives. We compare beauty and attractiveness, talents, skills, intelligence, charisma, ego, and even monetary value of ourselves (as if we could really put a price on our awesomeness).


Why? I'm sure there's some factual scientific answer out there, but just pondering the concept here's what I think: survival of the fittest at one time meant being able to use key factors to quickly and accurately assess possible threats. In caveman days that probably included other people you might encounter. You'd have to quickly determine if your opponent was stronger, swifter, smarter or better armed. Being able to figure that out quickly could make the difference between surviving or meeting an untimely demise.


Now, just because that's something we have become quite adept at, doesn't mean that it's very helpful in our society nowadays. Instead of fighting about who has the most resources, power, best clothes or things like that, we have the ability to help our fellow humans instead. We can use our skills of comparison to offer help, encouragement, and support. That probably seems ridiculous and impossible. Middle school was more about witty one-liners, zings, and who had a boyfriend or girlfriend. It got a little better in high school.


As an adult there will still be people who are as petty as they were in middle school, but a lot of people go to college, move to a different area or just have enough life experiences to realize that there's no need to be a jerk to others. It doesn't actually make you a better person because you're better at hurting someone else. The power that a bully gets is given to them the moment someone is afraid of them. Once you learn that you have the power, except when you give it away, everything else seems kinda dumb.


If you want to wear unusual clothes, go ahead. Want to be the weird nice kid in school? More power to ya. Afraid people will make fun of you for playing Dungeons and Dragons, or video games? So what? They can waste their time looking like idiots while you're doing you, and having fun. Would you rather be the person doing the things you love and being yourself, or the person who is so concerned with what everyone else is doing that they spend all their time trying to make others feel miserable so they feel less miserable about their own lives?


I know it's easier said than done. There will always be that person who just knows how to push your buttons and make you steamed. Nobody's perfect and sometimes you do have to verbally whiplash certain people to let them know you aren't an easy target. Overall though, just remember that the haters and bullies are focused on you most likely because they're jealous. They think you have a better life in some way, or better friends, or they hate that people genuinely like you. Miserable people want others to be just as miserable as they are themselves. Chances are they just want to bring you down to their level.


You just keep doing you. Keep confidently doing the stuff you love, and the best part is that the people who won't judge you or hate on you will find you. Some of the best friends are found that way. One person having the confidence to do what they like tends to give other people the confidence to admit the stuff they like as well.


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Photo by Anny Patterson from Pexels


One thing that never goes out of style is having the courage to just be yourself. Like what you like, do what you want to do. If you're not hurting people (including yourself), then no one else should really care. Pinneapple on pizza? You're the one eating it, who cares what someone else thinks? Be yourself. There is no one else who can, you are already the expert at it.

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